These are the top seven most absurd Texas holiday laws!
1. No Christmas Trees with Decorations Obstructing Traffic
It makes logical because it would only increase traffic. And how on earth did it get there? Was a completely decked Christmas tree suddenly dumped in the middle of the road by someone?
2. Drinking No More Than Three Beer Sips While Standing
For people who prefer to sip their drinks while standing, this could be a bit challenging.
3. There Are No Harmful Odours on Christmas Eve
Offensive might refer to offensive odors, or perhaps you’re just feeling a bit queasy since your uncle drank too much Drakkar Noir.
4. No Lights Left Unattended
You might get fined in Temple, Texas if you don’t always pay attention to those lights.
5. Avoiding Snowball Wars
It is forbidden to hurl snowballs in San Antonio! In Texas, where there isn’t much snowfall, I know that making snowballs is the first thing that people want to do.
6. No Christmas décor before December 1st
You’d best not start hanging those decorations in San Marcos before December 1st, as it is against the law.
7. No Intoxicated Santas
Don’t spoil it for the kids and the grownups who don’t want to deal with your inebriated Santa Claus; it’s illegal for a Santa Claus to appear in public in Houston.
Who, for example, was the first in San Antonio to toss a snowball at someone and think, “That should be illegal”?
I believe the following holiday legislation ought to be implemented right away:
- Prevent these other songs from being played in bars over the holidays—there are worse tunes than “All I Want For Christmas” by Mariah Carey.
- It ought to be against the law to charge admission to your workplace’s holiday party.
- It ought to be legal to declare that having Christmas lights up all year round is quite acceptable.
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