My life is chaos
QUESTION I wanted to go live with the father of my children at his house to start a family, but in my house they saw it badly. They told me how I was going to go with him after he left me alone with a son.
My mom cried every time I told her that I was determined to go. My sisters said I was crazy and stopped talking to me. Nobody supported me. My son didn’t want to leave with me, nor did he want me to leave. He does not accept his father, since he has hardly lived with him.
And in the end I stayed, I couldn’t go and leave my son at home. I would not feel good. But it is chaos. I don’t feel calm, they insult me and we stop talking, I feel like a freak. My life is in chaos.
ANSWER FROM THE EXPERT Your family surely understood that the father of your child is irresponsible and that he was going to cause more harm to you and your son as well. In any case, if the father of your child has matured, and he really wants to assume his responsibilities, propose that he spend a sufficient pension for his son, which allows you to be able to rent a house and live independently with your son.
Later, you will see if the father continues with a mature attitude , if he faces his share of the expenses that you and your son have, and if little by little he knows how to approach and gain the trust of his son . If so, that would be when, in time, they could consider whether the three of them live together.
Ultimately, don’t fight with your family; they just want to protect you and your child. Demand the child’s father to take his fair share, and the timing and behavior he displays will tell you if there is any chance for the future.
A worse OCD
QUESTION I have a 27 year old son with diagnosed OCD. He suffers and I suffer more because I see that all the advice that professionals have given me is not working, on the contrary, I think this is going to get worse and I no longer know what to do. Please help me. All the best. Erika.
ANSWER FROM THE EXPERT Your childurgentlyneedsprofessional help . In cases of OCD, a joint treatment combining pharmacology with psychological support therapy that works on the cognitive-behavioral linehas been shown to work very well. Every day we see cases of OCD in the office, and when both treatments are combined the result is very effective.
My wife speaks alone
QUESTION I have recently come across my wife talking to herself, saying unrelated things, as if she were in another world. Short phrases that have nothing to do with what we had been talking or doing before, or with what she brought herself to do.
She doesn’t know that I know, or so it seems to me. Could it be serious or a symptom of something? We have no worrisome problems, our two sons, ages 12 and 14, are growing up healthy and happy, and our jobs are doing reasonably well, without stress. She is 44 years old and I am 47. I am somewhat worried.
ANSWER FROM THE EXPERT Apart from thesestrange conversations , does your wife’s behavior show any other worrying signs in her relationship with her children, with work, with the rest of the family, with friends …?
In any case, you should discuss it with her directly and express your concern . If his wife was not aware of this procedure, then it would be advisable to inform her early care doctor. It can be a worrying sign, but sometimes there are people who vent that way and do it consciously, as a relief mechanism. Talk it over with her as soon as possible!
I don’t know how to fight the relationship
QUESTION My husband told me earlier this month that he wants to separate. I have stayed in sock because I did not expect it. Without being a bed of roses, our marriage was not bad on any plane, including the bed.
He limits himself to saying that he doesn’t love me anymore and assures me that there is no one. We are both 31 years old and have been married for 4, without children. I want to fight for the relationship, but I don’t know how to do it or where to start. He tells me that on April 1 he will be leaving. In these days since he told me he has been nice to me but nothing more. I do nothing but cry. Thanks for your advice.
ANSWER FROM THE EXPERT Feelings cannot be forced, but as far as she counts it is very strange how her husband proceeds. When there are no third parties, things are spoken calmly and solutions are tried to be found; especially when the relationship is not anobvious failure .
It is even very common, in cases of crisis , to ask for psychological help, before taking such a definitive step; But such a decisive resolution, on the part of her husband, usually occurs when there is a third person , with whom her husband has already acquired some kind of commitment or promise.
In short, it is you who urgently needs psychological help, to be able to face an unexpected and unclear situation. Do not insist on continuing with a person who has this behavior.